There are moments in life when time suddenly seems to accelerate to a frightening speed. This summer, and the month of September have been such a time for me.
In a few short months, I learned I was harboring life once again, signed with a publisher, moved out, and traveled all over the place to visit family. I wake up feeling dizzy and the pregnancy isn’t to blame for it.
Today I realized my baby girl is turning two next month. Where did those two first years go ? What was I doing that time got to creep up on me in such a rude way ?
I wish I could freeze this instant forever, my sweet daughter hugging me, talking gibberish with her radiant smile, playing with her dolls, kissing my stomach while saying I love you to her unborn baby brother. Her stubborn lovely face as she attempts to put her shoes by herself, or swivels away from my arms’ embrace in the pool as she says : « Seule… Alone ». Darling independent toddler, her resolve a wonder to behold. Everyday she leaves crumbs of the baby she once was behind and steps resolutely toward the woman she’s meant to become.
I need to capture these precious memories, put them in a shrine some place where they can never fade away. A place I can visit when she turns into an angry teenager that wipes away my kisses from her cheek and pretends she doesn’t know me when school comes in sight. When it won’t be cool to hang out with your mom and I suddenly won’t be her favorite person on earth. I’ll try not to take it personally, this is just what girls do, what they need to do in order to shake off their parents’ influence and grow into their own person. I know that if I’m patient she’ll come back to me later.
But I digress again, my point here isn’t to focus on a far away future but to enjoy fully my daughter’s fleeting toddler’s years. Before it’s too late and I forget how magical she is, how precious and perfect (clearly I am totally objective, not a hint of motherly exaggeration in this statement). 🙂
With my busy schedule of late, I haven’t found the time to write. As my fingers begin to itch, I’ve decided to combine my need to write again with the urge to capture my daughter’s magical essence by drawing her onto the page. A birthday gift for her and for me, a children story where she is the heroine. I’ve had this story stored for ages in the back of my mind, a story set in the sky, drawn from my everlasting fascination for the stars and the secrets hidden under the cover of darkness. But for some reason and after many attempts, it never seemed to take life, something was missing. Perhaps the magical element amiss was my daughter and with Sasha in the lead, it will at last come together.
Sasha’s birthday is on the twenty-first of October, less than a month away. Let’s see if I can realize my own NaNoWriMo challenge and come up with a first draft by then. A first draft to fashion a magical world; an attempt to crystallize my fierce, incredible two year old Sasha forever in a book; a testament of pure, scintillating love.
And now, back to planning the perfect princess birthday bash 🙂 I’ll try to update you on my progress regularly…
Have a lovely day all!